faithfulness in the waiting

“I don’t ask for success, I ask for faithfulness.” – Mother Theresa

This past Sunday, Kyle presented another part of the Joseph story in Genesis. I've really loved our exploration of Genesis. I've read most of these stories many times before and have never been as encouraged or challenged as I have been this time through. That's another post altogether, though. The highlight of the morning for me was getting to read the racy part of Potiphar's wife (you know, because pregnancy makes you feel so sexy). Yeah, not so much, really. But, it's always fun to read. Anyways....

After reading and hearing a little more about the story, we split up into small groups and our group, appropriately for me and I imagine a few others, was asked what the story tells us about waiting on God. (Kyle said it was the easy question - ha!) Our group talked about how even in the waiting, it seemed that Joseph was faithful in many things - to minister and share his faith, to remember that he didn't belong where he was, and to not forget about God. It's obvious to us in hindsight that God had a purpose for Joseph's waiting and so we can be encouraged in our lives now that God has a purpose in our waiting and calls us to that faithfulness, which is most often very difficult.

I've been in many waiting moments in my life. I feel like I am in many right now. I'm waiting for my baby to be born, I'm waiting and believing to see how God will provide for our family when I am no longer working, I am waiting to go back to school, I am anxiously waiting for my time at my job to be over, and in many ways, I am waiting to see what God has planned for our current little family and praying for Him to change my heart when everything within me doesn't want to be gracious or kind. And I am waiting, believing, trusting, and continuing forward.

What does it mean for me to be faithful in all of these things? And, how do I know if I'm being faithful or not? Sometimes I think I know, other times not so much. The quote above was really the highlight of the morning for me, because it has stuck with me, encouraged and challenged me (I like to say that alot - encouraged and challenged). For a while now, I've been aware of how easy it is for me to be unfaithful in all these circumstances. And, my unfaithfulness is sometimes downright rebellion because I am aware of the times that are very blatant, willful acts of that unfaithfulness. I am like a spoiled child saying to her Father - "I just don't want to."

And, yet my deepest prayer is for faithfulness, and whatever that means in all of these things, to be created and nurtured into all of my life because I don't want to miss out on the purpose that God has in store for me and who knows who else while I'm here in the waiting.