Monday, February 05, 2007

only the beginning



There they are - three of the most important women in my life. From left to right, my great-grandmother Avis, my mother, and my grandmother Betty. This picture was taken a little over three years ago, in September of 2003 - the year I was married and the year my brother graduated from college as a pastry chef. It was the last great family vacation (a big one, truly) before my brother and I married our spouses and was definitely two weeks I will not soon forget. This was also the last time I got to visit at all with my great-grandmother, whose house was sold the next summer when she was moved to a nursing home in Florida.

I remember talking to my parents the weekend before they went to visit her that summer the house was sold. No one had shared with me that the house I had made so many summer memories in was being sold. I only found out by accident and I was crushed! I couldn't believe there would be no more memories of my own, my children or any of my family for that matter made within those precious walls. And, I couldn't believe my great-grandmother was being moved from the home she had lived in for so long. It turned out it was only the beginning of the end for Grammy.

And, so I have some very sad news to share. While my little baby boy's life is just beginning, another one very dear to me has come to its earthly end. My great-grandmother, Avis Bradstreet, passed away two Tuesday evenings ago at the age of 93 in her nursing home in Florida. Her condition, primarily Alzheimer's, had been progressively worsening and was complicated by a fall she took that broke her hip in the latter part of last year. She wasn't getting around much due to this complication and because of her Alzheimer's, she didn't have memory of anyone except my grandmother, who visited her everyday. She was in a lot of pain, was on a lot of medication which made her sleepy most of her days, and wasn't eating well. About a month ago when I talked to my grandmother, I had a feeling her end was coming soon. From what my grandmother shared with me, the nurses said she went fast and just passed away in her sleep.

I remember my great-grandmother with so much love! And, it has been so hard to know she is in pain and see her body deteriorate over the past few years. Until I moved to Tulsa and really started to call this place home, hers was the one our entire family referred to whenever we said home. Whenever we visited her, I could hardly wait to turn onto Bayview Street, see that sea-green house, and her coming out to meet us. I have another post brewing about her house because the house alone just conjures up so many memories for me. But for now, I just want to share that -

Within the walls of my great-grandmother's house, I

Spent many summers with my family
Received many hand-me-down nightgowns from my grandmother (the kind that were perfect for twirling around and feeling all girly in-oh, they were so very beautiful!)
Watched my grandmother live out her faith
Watched her read My Daily Bread every morning
Watched her enjoy solving a great crossword (and when I got older, I even tried to help and really thought my grandmother had to be very smart to finish something so difficult)
Sat around the table in her huge kitchen and shared meals with my family
Helped her clean
Explored her house (she really had a huge house!)
Played hide-and-go-seek with my brother
Listened to the sound of the water coming in on the beach on those summer nights
Snuggled with my Grammy in her humongous king bed and watched Johnny Carson late at night, which always made me feel really special (and remember, late night on the east coast is REALLY late)
Upset my grandmother when my brother and I would fight
Learned how to make coffee
Discovered dentures for the first time
Teased my great-grandmother about her precious New England accent - "Spahkle papeh towels"
First learned what it means to lead a life well lived and that you don't have to accomplish "huge" things by the world's standards to make a difference
Learned the beauty of stillness
Was my great-grandmother's sweet pea
Always hated to leave
And always got so excited to see that sea green house on Bayview Street that was home to the dearest grandmother my life has ever known!

I loved my Grammy and will miss her dearly. I’m excited that her life beyond this earth is beginning and sad that she is no longer here. Her love has forever etched its mark on my life and her legacy will be shared with my children and beyond. In the words of Mercy Me, truly, "I've never been more homesick than now."