goodbye to Crazy

Crazy, as we called her, came into my husband and I's lives about four years ago before we were married. She was such a beautiful bluish/gray and I loved her immediately. (I'm pretty much a sucker when it comes to kitties.) At the time, I was moving into a new apartment and already had one kitty of my own and a huge deposit to pay to keep her in my new apartment. Jerry decided to take Crazy in at his apartment so that I would not risk getting into trouble with my new landlords.

I don't even remember if we tried to name her anything else besides Crazy. She lived up to her name by literally climbing the walls, hiding in paper bags and the kitty tower we spoiled her with - observing the world from inside and sometimes attacking our other kitty, running to the door and meowing when we came home from work, chasing nothing in the middle of the night back and forth through a hallway or from room to room, and just being playful in general. In the past few years, she calmed down significantly and would actually come and sit in my or my husband's lap at night and just let us love on her. She was quite a lovable kitty and would just purr away the hours in our laps.

Within the first year we had her, we had to have her spayed. The doctor also ran some bloodwork while she was in the clinic and said she had tested positive for feline leukemia, a fatal feline disease, and recommended we have her put to sleep. We decided to keep her instead.

Then, a few days ago, Crazy got very sick. She stopped eating and apparently stopped drinking. She became very lethargic, losing her usual perkiness and we started to find her laying on either of her sides under the Christmas tree. Finally, on Monday, my husband became very concerned and we took her to the doctor. The doctors took very good care of her, nursed her back from dehydration and malnourishment from not eating.The doctor, Jerry, and I all thought the problem was an infection so they prescribed some antibiotics and food supplements. We picked her up on our way home from work last night and were very encouraged by her seeming rejuvenation and energy. However, when we brought her home last night, she was back to her lethargic spot under the Christmas tree within just a few short hours. This morning, Jerry gave her her first round of antibiotics, her head had perked up a bit, and we left for work.

We came home from work tonight and she was not under the tree where we thought she would be, nor was she near the food and water which we had left out for her. We found her forever asleep on the cool floor of my bathroom, where she liked to follow me and roll around playfully on the bathroom rug. Nothing really prepares you to see your pet the way we found her. I immediately knew she was gone and when Jerry confirmed it, I just could not hold back my tears. I was initally in shock and will never forget the image of her lying on the floor. She is the first pet I've really had to say goodbye to and I am so sad to say goodbye to her tonight.

I am extremely grateful for the doctors who I know did everything they knew to do and for their incredible compassion and sympathy. It makes all the difference to know that someone else cares. When we called the doctor tonight, he offered to not only take care of Crazy, but to find out exactly what had happened to her. There's a feeling of helplessness and guilt that wants to convince me I could have acted sooner, but I know the outcome would have still been the same. We found out that she died as a result of her feline leukemia finally manifesting its fatal symptoms.

I am thankful we were able to give her a home for the years that we had her and honored that God would have entrusted us to take care of her. I will miss her dearly with many fond memories, smiles, laughter, purrs, and tears.