my mom and faith

Well, I gave in this weekend - just decided to call my mom and end the standoff. By the way, I think I'm the only one who thought it was a "standoff."

I spoke first with my brother and while I was encouraged in what I needed to do, I was discouraged in something else. My brother kind of reinforced what I really already knew and that is that I can't wait for my parents to take the initiative and call me. Sad, but true. Almost four weeks had gone by and neither of us had called the other. I had been waiting to give them the chance to take the initiative, but it wasn't happening. So, I decided I would just call them, keep them updated, and see how they were doing.

Before we hung up, however, my brother said something to me that just broke my heart. We were talking about my mom, which is part of the reason I called him before calling her on Sunday. Let me just explain without saying too very much that my mom has been diagnosed with a serious mental illness. She has been in counseling for almost eight years and is on medication, which is constantly changing (dosage or new medication altogether). Sometimes, conversations with my mom can go very well and other times, like ones I've previously mentioned, not so much. You honestly never know what kind of mood you might find her in. I realize that can be true for really all of us, but with my mom it's just way different. I'm learning that my best bets for catching her on a good day are Sundays - she hasn't been at work, she's had, hopefully, a day to rest, and is generally pretty happy. Well, in talking about my mom, my brother said basically that he believes my mom will never get better and even went so far as to say she is getting worse, not better.

Even writing this, I just want to cry. Because not only do I have a mom who is suffering and is generally miserable, but I have a brother who doesn't believe she can or will get better. I got off the phone with my brother and looked at my husband and was just like, how can he even say something like that? Do we believe in the same God? I guess I just feel or believe differently here. Because whether my mom gets better or not won't keep me from praying for God to heal her or from believing that she can and will get better. I believe in a God who does the seemingly impossible and gives me every reason to hope the best.

Where do I find the faith and hope to believe these things? Check out Hebrews 11, particularly verse 13 -

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance."

Others have faithfully waited even unto death for what God had promised; in my mind, they waited and believed for greater things than I!

And because of the faith and hope God has placed within me, I'd rather live my entire life praying for God to heal my mom than to live one day thinking that she can't or won't get better. It doesn't mean that I won't accept my mom as she is while I'm in relationship with her or that I won't encourage her, but it does mean that I am not accepting things as they currently are as the final answer. God has the final say.

Thank you, God, for giving us the hope and faith to believe the seemingly impossible and to see You more clearly in all of the circumstances you place us in!

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:15-16