Friday, December 16, 2005

no longer strangers

There is another song I have been hearing on the radio that has really gripped me. It is called This Man and it is sung by Jeremy Camp.

The whole song is really beautiful, but one line in particular just resonates with me. It simply says,

..... and the veil was torn so we could have this open door....
The first few times I heard it, I was just overwhelmed trying to comphrehend the magnitude of the fact that I have an open door to God through Christ. Then, God reminded me of something that just made it very real to me.

Up until a few years ago, my family (my brother, mom, and dad) and I had had somewhat of a rocky and rough relationship. I'm not going to try to go into details here, but I will tell you that I made some heartbreaking, destructive, and devastating choices almost eight years ago that rocked my family's foundation, faith, and I daresay all the things any of us had ever thought certain to their very core. It was a very dark time God led us through and in the middle of it, I moved to Tulsa.

There were times after I moved out here when I thought I might have to leave and go back home. I don't think I'm way off or that my parents would be offended if I said that there wasn't exactly an "open door" between us. Oh sure, it opened wide on ocassion, but it would also remain only slightly ajar for months at a time as well. I never felt that I would really be altogether welcome if I had to come back home and I began to wonder if a time would ever come when I would feel like I was welcome to come back home even to visit. The time between when I moved out here and when I next saw my mother again was the longest in my entire lifetime - about two or three years.

Over the past eight years, God has certainly been working out His will in our relationship. It's been full of tears, brokenness, hard work, searching for understanding, and a lot of conversations. I can't say exactly when it happened, but I can tell you that it is one of the sweetest miracles I've ever had the joy of experiencing - the miracle of an open door with my parents and beyond that, a mercy and grace from them that I am constantly humbled by.

So, when I hear the line,

..... and the veil was torn so we could have this open door....
I am reminded of those desperate, dark, seeming hopeless times in my relationship with my parents and how God set things right and worked all things out for our good and His glory. And, how that same joy I have over knowing there is an open door with them where I thought there might not be again is only a shadow of the door that is opened to us with God because of His amazing love and Christ's magnificent sacrifice. What an incredible gift of an open door to God through Christ our Savior!

Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God. (Ephesians 2:19, KJV)

2 comments:

LiteratureLover said...

Wow! This is beautiful and an incredible word picture. I am so happy for you that you and your family have been able to work through all of this.

heartsjoy said...

Man! Thank you for sharing! Isn't it amazing how just one phrase in a song can be used of God. I love your testimony of redemption and grace as well as consequences and restoration. I feel like I get to know you more each time I read your blogs. You have so much to offer so many others! I truly feel challenged by God with what you share! I know God is using you and will continue to use you in mighty ways! Thank you!