Thursday, October 20, 2005

a new beginning

As I'm embarking on the beginning of a new chapter in my journey of faith, I thought a way of expressing, sharing, and just generally opening up my life would be an incredible place to start! So, here I am, and it is pretty cool!

I'm in the process of going back to college, and getting to this point of a serious pursuit and a clarity of exactly why and for what purpose I am going back to college is a big deal for me. Christ recently used a great mentor, who probably doesn't even realize that he is, to challenge me to name something - an attitude, a thing, a relationship, etc. - that has defined me or held me back from a fuller relationship with God. I have to admit that, at first, I didn't feel the need or the want to. I honestly felt at that moment, "I can't think of anything right now, so I'll pray about it and think about it later." However, most often Christ has other plans and I couldn't seem to escape the feeling that I shouldn't ignore the challenge being presented to me. I have no doubt that it was He who brought to my mind exactly what has the power to define me and hold me back. It was a painful thing to write it down, but I remember writing it down in small letters and I'm glad I did. Nothing, no matter how big it seems, is bigger than God or His power to accomplish His will in our lives! I'm glad to know I serve a BIG God.

So, in the process of recognizing this small word that has held me hostage in its grip, Christ has loosened its power over my choices and how I live this life I've been given. And, in doing so, I've come to realize that Christ is leading me back to college, which in itself holds many obstacles and a little anxiety for me. But, I'm telling you what, I'm ready for the adventure that I've kept myself from for so long - not only in pursuing college, but just enjoying my life! I can't explain or express how excited I am to be on this journey, with a renewed hope and clarity.

I have that feeling like I can finally catch my breath and come back into the light a little bit..............

1 comment:

SuperMom said...

Wow. Girl, I enjoy reading what you write. I feel like I've got a better understanding of who you are and what you're about. It's great. Thanks for inviting me in.