Enjoy!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
beautiful photo
Isn't this an incredibly beautiful picture? It's apparently called a nacreous cloud and was seen some 20 km above a science station in Antartica. Man, it's just beautiful! I'd love to see some of these incredible clouds in person and I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights, although this is something completely different.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
another song
Well, I've just got songs running through my head today.
I heard the following song on my way home late last night from my girlfriend's house and it always just gets me. It's a very simple song, but I love it.
When I heard it for the first time, I really felt like it could have been written by my husband just for me. There's just something about him that lets me know I'm the very most important person in the world to him. Maybe it's when he waits up for me after midnight just to make sure I get in alright. Or maybe it's when he tells me he loves me for no particular reason a million times a day. Or maybe it's all the times he's gone back out for something that we forgot and didn't realize it was missing until we got home. I don't know. It's all the little things, all the hugs and kisses, and all the times he makes time to just talk with me that let me know that even though it seems to the world, I may be just another girl - to him, I am the world. (And yes, I'm a country music junkie.)
The World, by Brad Paisley
To the teller down at the bank
You're just another checking account
To the plumber that came today
You're just another house
At the airport ticket counter
You're just another fare
At the beauty shop at the mall
Well you're just another head of hair
Well that's alright, that's ok
If you don't feel important, honey
All I've got to say is
Chorus:
To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
To the waiter at the restaurant
You're just another tip
To the guy at the ice cream shop
You're just another dip
When you can't get reservations
'Cause you don't have the clout
Or you didn't get an invitation
'Cause somebody left you out
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've got to say is
Chorus:
To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me
I heard the following song on my way home late last night from my girlfriend's house and it always just gets me. It's a very simple song, but I love it.
When I heard it for the first time, I really felt like it could have been written by my husband just for me. There's just something about him that lets me know I'm the very most important person in the world to him. Maybe it's when he waits up for me after midnight just to make sure I get in alright. Or maybe it's when he tells me he loves me for no particular reason a million times a day. Or maybe it's all the times he's gone back out for something that we forgot and didn't realize it was missing until we got home. I don't know. It's all the little things, all the hugs and kisses, and all the times he makes time to just talk with me that let me know that even though it seems to the world, I may be just another girl - to him, I am the world. (And yes, I'm a country music junkie.)
The World, by Brad Paisley
To the teller down at the bank
You're just another checking account
To the plumber that came today
You're just another house
At the airport ticket counter
You're just another fare
At the beauty shop at the mall
Well you're just another head of hair
Well that's alright, that's ok
If you don't feel important, honey
All I've got to say is
Chorus:
To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
To the waiter at the restaurant
You're just another tip
To the guy at the ice cream shop
You're just another dip
When you can't get reservations
'Cause you don't have the clout
Or you didn't get an invitation
'Cause somebody left you out
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've got to say is
Chorus:
To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me
I will stand
Last night, after what felt like the worst downer day I’d had in a long time, I got to spend some much-needed girl time with my best friend. Man, I love that girl! I just can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed a friend and she’s ALWAYS been there. She is truly a blessing straight from the Lord. I know that because of her friendship, I have a better understanding of Christ as my friend. I am so thankful for her!
Well, we were doing one of the things we love most – getting ready for a road trip. Remember, we’re going to see Rascal Flatts this weekend???!!! And, as with ANY road trip, there is LOTS of music involved. We’ve tried for a few weeks to get together to burn mixed CD’s for the three of us that are going and last night, we finally did it! We had so much fun – picking out the songs and mixing them up before burning the CD’s. You’d think by all the Rascal Flatts' songs on the CD’s that we were, like, big fans or something. Well, there’s a song on the new Rascal Flatts’ CD that we included on our mixed ones that just describes pretty well how I feel today, considering what I wrote about yesterday. It’s called Stand. I can’t wait to hear it in person. Here are the lyrics -
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
God has never failed to pull me up from the lowest points in my life and I know with His help, His wisdom, His understanding, and His peace, it will be no different this time. When I think that the purpose is unclear to me, I have to remember that it's so very clear to Him and that what He most wants from me is to trust Him and continue to follow Him in the midst of all the uncertainty. I was praying for this very thing - more faith, a more mature faith - as I was driving to pick up my husband from work yesterday. And God is so good, because in the midst of it all, His gentle voice is reminding me to trust Him, is reminding me that I'm not alone, and that He will never leave me.
I will stand - on His words, on His love, on the most solid Rock I've come to know.
Well, we were doing one of the things we love most – getting ready for a road trip. Remember, we’re going to see Rascal Flatts this weekend???!!! And, as with ANY road trip, there is LOTS of music involved. We’ve tried for a few weeks to get together to burn mixed CD’s for the three of us that are going and last night, we finally did it! We had so much fun – picking out the songs and mixing them up before burning the CD’s. You’d think by all the Rascal Flatts' songs on the CD’s that we were, like, big fans or something. Well, there’s a song on the new Rascal Flatts’ CD that we included on our mixed ones that just describes pretty well how I feel today, considering what I wrote about yesterday. It’s called Stand. I can’t wait to hear it in person. Here are the lyrics -
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
God has never failed to pull me up from the lowest points in my life and I know with His help, His wisdom, His understanding, and His peace, it will be no different this time. When I think that the purpose is unclear to me, I have to remember that it's so very clear to Him and that what He most wants from me is to trust Him and continue to follow Him in the midst of all the uncertainty. I was praying for this very thing - more faith, a more mature faith - as I was driving to pick up my husband from work yesterday. And God is so good, because in the midst of it all, His gentle voice is reminding me to trust Him, is reminding me that I'm not alone, and that He will never leave me.
I will stand - on His words, on His love, on the most solid Rock I've come to know.
Monday, July 31, 2006
that lonesome feeling
Well, it seems my mom and I have had a setback. And after I thought things were going so well.
The day of my last ultrasound, I called a few of my good friends to relate the good and bad news about the baby and to ask for prayer. I thought I'd just call my mom real quick and let her know what was going on. The conversation didn't go well and was pretty brief. When I tried to just quickly tell her what was going on, she yelled at me. I hung up in tears and felt everything I had tried to hold together that day just went out the window. I really felt I needed my mom in that moment and she was "emotionally unavailable."
My mom called me back about ten minutes later and promptly informed me that things were not the best for her right now - she's working ten hour days at work and still having to go in on the weekend to do her own work - and I told her that I completely understood and I was sorry things were so hard for her right now. She told me that I would just have to deal with her this way. She asked what was up and after telling her what was going on, it seemed like she hadn't even heard me because she acted like everything was fine and that there was no reason for me to be calling her. Since that day, I haven't talked to her and I've been advised by a few close friends not to call her until the baby is born. It's not sounding like a bad idea.
I gotta tell you that it all gets old and wears on me after a while.
It's hard enough to be so far away for birthdays, some holidays and especially now, when I'm pregnant and feel like I need my parents closer to me more than ever. My dad just celebrated his 50th birthday yesterday, my mom will celebrate hers on September 6, they've been married 30 years this year and are going to be first-time grandparents, but it just seems that we can't get our relationship together. So much joy and pain all at once it seems. I'm sure Jesus must have felt this way on His way to the cross, but at least His purpose was clear. The purpose in all of this is still unclear to me and yet life just keeps going - relationships remain unhinged, time passes, a baby grows, ultrasounds happen, dinner gets made each night, people go to work, bills get paid, appointments are kept, medicine is taken, life happens.
Since I moved here, I've been reminded so many times that it was I who chose to move so far away from my family. OK. Fine. But, for being the one that moved away, I spend a lot of time trying to stay connected with them and sometimes, I just don't know if it's worth it. It's not like I've been keeping score on who calls who how many times, but it hurts after so many years that even now I get yelled at just for calling at the wrong time. Why does it have to be so hard? I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for my mom's hangups.
All this leaves a pregnant mommy-to-be feeling kinda lonely, neglected, and fairly overwhelmed. I'm sure it shows, too. (Although my friends are all wonderful, keep up with me, and in so many tangible ways have become my family.) I even dreamt about writing this blog. So weird.
And you know what else just really aggravates and hurts me? My parents have talked about helping us out financially over the past few months, but honestly no amount of financial help they want to offer us can make up for the emotional loneliness I feel.
The day of my last ultrasound, I called a few of my good friends to relate the good and bad news about the baby and to ask for prayer. I thought I'd just call my mom real quick and let her know what was going on. The conversation didn't go well and was pretty brief. When I tried to just quickly tell her what was going on, she yelled at me. I hung up in tears and felt everything I had tried to hold together that day just went out the window. I really felt I needed my mom in that moment and she was "emotionally unavailable."
My mom called me back about ten minutes later and promptly informed me that things were not the best for her right now - she's working ten hour days at work and still having to go in on the weekend to do her own work - and I told her that I completely understood and I was sorry things were so hard for her right now. She told me that I would just have to deal with her this way. She asked what was up and after telling her what was going on, it seemed like she hadn't even heard me because she acted like everything was fine and that there was no reason for me to be calling her. Since that day, I haven't talked to her and I've been advised by a few close friends not to call her until the baby is born. It's not sounding like a bad idea.
I gotta tell you that it all gets old and wears on me after a while.
It's hard enough to be so far away for birthdays, some holidays and especially now, when I'm pregnant and feel like I need my parents closer to me more than ever. My dad just celebrated his 50th birthday yesterday, my mom will celebrate hers on September 6, they've been married 30 years this year and are going to be first-time grandparents, but it just seems that we can't get our relationship together. So much joy and pain all at once it seems. I'm sure Jesus must have felt this way on His way to the cross, but at least His purpose was clear. The purpose in all of this is still unclear to me and yet life just keeps going - relationships remain unhinged, time passes, a baby grows, ultrasounds happen, dinner gets made each night, people go to work, bills get paid, appointments are kept, medicine is taken, life happens.
Since I moved here, I've been reminded so many times that it was I who chose to move so far away from my family. OK. Fine. But, for being the one that moved away, I spend a lot of time trying to stay connected with them and sometimes, I just don't know if it's worth it. It's not like I've been keeping score on who calls who how many times, but it hurts after so many years that even now I get yelled at just for calling at the wrong time. Why does it have to be so hard? I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for my mom's hangups.
All this leaves a pregnant mommy-to-be feeling kinda lonely, neglected, and fairly overwhelmed. I'm sure it shows, too. (Although my friends are all wonderful, keep up with me, and in so many tangible ways have become my family.) I even dreamt about writing this blog. So weird.
And you know what else just really aggravates and hurts me? My parents have talked about helping us out financially over the past few months, but honestly no amount of financial help they want to offer us can make up for the emotional loneliness I feel.
Friday, July 28, 2006
movieng thoughts
The movie I went to see yesterday by myself was Lady in the Water by M. Night Shymalan. I decided to see it by myself because I knew neither my stepdaughter nor my husband were very interested in seeing it and I really wanted to see it. I'm really a quiet, big fan of this particular director and storyteller. My favorite movie of his was Signs as of the day before yesterday.
Without giving too much away, I just have to say I loved it! Though it isn't epic like Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia, it still has very big and inspiring ideas. The movie itself revolves around an ancient story and how the characters of the movie become characters in the ancient story. Hmm. Sounds a little familiar. There are moments of redemption, moments of setback, and moments where the person you would least expect to play a major role in the action does. There are ongoing conversations about purpose all throughout the movie - how to determine who plays what purpose, the temptation to arrogance of assuming a particular role or that one person knows everyone else's purposes, doubting your purpose, embracing your real purpose, and acting on it. There are both good and evil forces at work and an underlying message about the human condition as a whole. It's particularly relevant when you think of all that's going on in the world right now.
Overall, I really enjoyed it. I'll probably see it again and/or buy it when it goes to DVD.
On another note, I've been seeing lots of previews for the new World Trade Center movie. Although a part of me wants to see it, I don't know if I'll be able to sit through it. As it is, the tears just fall down my face everytime I see the previews. For me, the pain of that day is still so fresh in my mind. And if it's still fresh in my mind, I can't imagine how it feels for all those who were more personally affected by the events of that day. When I think of all the brave men and women of the emergency departments and probably some bystanders who went into those towers and put their lives on the line just doing what they do everyday for all the people who were trapped inside and remember the sight of the towers falling, I. Just. Can't. Do. It. It's not something I want to re-experience. So, I will probably skip it.
Does anyone else still find it hard to think about that day?
Without giving too much away, I just have to say I loved it! Though it isn't epic like Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia, it still has very big and inspiring ideas. The movie itself revolves around an ancient story and how the characters of the movie become characters in the ancient story. Hmm. Sounds a little familiar. There are moments of redemption, moments of setback, and moments where the person you would least expect to play a major role in the action does. There are ongoing conversations about purpose all throughout the movie - how to determine who plays what purpose, the temptation to arrogance of assuming a particular role or that one person knows everyone else's purposes, doubting your purpose, embracing your real purpose, and acting on it. There are both good and evil forces at work and an underlying message about the human condition as a whole. It's particularly relevant when you think of all that's going on in the world right now.
Overall, I really enjoyed it. I'll probably see it again and/or buy it when it goes to DVD.
On another note, I've been seeing lots of previews for the new World Trade Center movie. Although a part of me wants to see it, I don't know if I'll be able to sit through it. As it is, the tears just fall down my face everytime I see the previews. For me, the pain of that day is still so fresh in my mind. And if it's still fresh in my mind, I can't imagine how it feels for all those who were more personally affected by the events of that day. When I think of all the brave men and women of the emergency departments and probably some bystanders who went into those towers and put their lives on the line just doing what they do everyday for all the people who were trapped inside and remember the sight of the towers falling, I. Just. Can't. Do. It. It's not something I want to re-experience. So, I will probably skip it.
Does anyone else still find it hard to think about that day?
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