singing a brave lifesong

For Valentine's Day, my husband and I got to have a date night last night and went to see Casting Crowns, Nicole Nordeman, and Josh Bates in concert at the Mabee Center. Very wonderful concert. Even my husband enjoyed it. :-) I, of course, was excited to hear Nicole Nordeman sing my life's seeming theme song - Brave. I know she wrote the song out of the experience of having her first child, but when I first heard it, I could only hear my own heart crying out to the Lord of my desire to live a brave life - to be unafraid of taking risks, to love courageously, to be vulnerable, to speak unashamedly of my Savior to others, to face failure, embrace my weaknesses and God's incredible strength and power at work in me and through me to others, to dare to hope, believe, and have faith for the "impossible" in my life and others', to embrace God's dreams for the community around me, to fully embrace God's love for me and others, to not be afraid to let God shine His light into the deepest parts of my heart, to fully know and accept God and to allow Him to fully know and accept me - the list could go on and on. There are so many things that run through my mind when I hear this song and the idea of "being brave" resonates so clearly in my life right now. I enjoyed hearing Nicole play the piano and sing the songs that God has written on her heart and being able to share these moments with my husband.

Casting Crowns really sets up their concerts more like a worship service by having the lyrics on a big screen onstage so everyone can sing along and my husband really enjoyed that. I also love the sound of hundreds of people singing one song altogether because it always compels me to think of what heaven will be like (maybe that's the real reason I'm such a concert junkie). Everyone singing the same song to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. What a beautiful sound that is going to be someday. Can you hear it?

Casting Crowns' song Lifesong really gets to me, too. I felt very convicted by something Mark Hall, the lead singer of Casting Crowns, said last night. He said something to the effect of - when I'm having a beautiful day, am I worshipping a nice day or the One who created the nice day? I know it's a simple thought, but one that really grabbed me because it suddenly seemed very clear to me how often I truly worship the good days instead of God. Particularly now - when the good days are sometimes hard for me to find even when they're right in front of my face - I may thank God in my heart for the beautiful days, but I realized last night that I'm really more thankful just for a break from the fighting of depression and despair on those good days. I don't dare to have all the answers, but one thing I do is desire to have a life that worships and sings to the Lord - not just a few days, a few moments, a few good years or events - but an entire life. I have to get over the fact that my life here on earth is not going to be perfect and that I will never live every moment perfectly - because as another incredible woman I know has said and thought similarly before - if I lived perfectly, why would I or the world need Jesus? I am continually brought to my knees and back to the realization that this life and this process of becoming perfect is not something I can do on my own - "it's too big for me, it's something only God can do, and I have to trust Him to do it, I could never do it for myself no matter how hard and long I worked and that trusting Him to do it is what gets me set right with God by God."

So, today and everyday my prayer is that God will continue to grow within me the courage and bravery to let my lifesong sing to Him.